“Don’t get out of here, Stalker.” The Bucket Edition

I’ve come out of hibernation and college finals to say not just a few words, but many. As a response to mistermcconnell’s post about the possible closing of GSC Game World, I am also posting to honor the glory of the STALKER series…

And to the hope that STALKER 2 will one day grace the earth from the depths of Chernobyl.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

STALKER: Shadow of Chernobyl

The first game is set in 2012, within “The Zone” surrounding Chernobyl. Many highly valuable artifacts are to be looted, factions to befriend or fight-off, mutated packs of dogs to be avoided, and odd-jobs to be completed. Here, you are injected into an RPG/FPS hybrid of a very cool sandbox-styled way to play.

You wake up with amnesia, after being found among dead bodies with a tattoo of “S.T.A.L.K.E.R.” on your right arm. On you was found a PDA that merely says, “Kill Strelok.” So what do you do? You were found among dead bodies as the only one living, have amnesia, are among the desolate void called The Zone, and seem to have left yourself a message from the other-side: kill some dude.

That is the main plot: Find Strelok, and find out who you are. The rest of the game is made up of side-quests with missions between factions that exist in The Zone.

Factions/Groups:
Military
Stalkers
Bandits
Duty Faction
Freedom Faction

Factions: Join them, kill them, or be neutral

Duty are the a-holes that wish to bring order to The Zone, and so they treat everybody who isn’t Duty like scum. You suck, and you are not allowed here. This is ours, and we are protecting the outside world from The Zone. At the Duty base, there is also the infamous Duty member who stares at you and never stops repeating these exact words: “Get out of here, Stalker.” “Get out of here, Stalker.” “Get out of here, Stalker.”

Then there is Freedom, and they are the surfer hippies of The Zone. Peace, love, and freedom. You will almost always hear Freedom members say, “Dude.” Pretty cool cats, even if sounding retarded half of the time.

What about the mutants? Enough about the people.

The Bloodsucker

Mutated Vampire from Hell

This thing will scare the hell out of everybody the first time you see it underground, as you are fleeing military personnel.

Timeline of Blood Sucker confrontation:
“I just see floating eyeballs.” 1 second
“I see bouncing eyeballs and weird huffing.” 2 seconds
“WHAT IN THE TRIPLE FFFFFFFFFFF” 3 seconds

Later, once you know what they are, you just tell yourself “Oh God, I’m going to die” and start shooting fully-automatic silver bullets out the ass.

Now, that is just one special case. Aren’t there more? Why yes. Yes there are.

Homeless Man from The Sewers

What about ugly, homeless men? They have the power to psychically transfer their PTSD to you by merely staring at you. The screen zooms in on his horrid face and personal trauma, with the ensuing migraines damaging your health. Every time you try to do something, you can’t help but zoom in and stare at his horridly-malnourished face of pure evil. You better learn the “quicksave” key early in the game, or mutated squid-faced vampires will ruin you with the help of homeless madmen.

The game is an amazing experience, and should be played if you have never come across it. For newcomers to STALKER, and old, I wholeheartedly endorse this mod as it fixes many bugs/glitches and upgrades many aspects of the game (graphics, physics, awesomeness, etc.). That link was the direct address to the installer, while here is the summary outlining its awesome powers.

That is just the first game out of the three that have been released, and I cannot say enough about the game and it’s series. Maybe I will post again to touch on the other two games? With that said, I truly hope STALKER 2 can either be completed or picked up by a reputable gaming company for its release to the world.

–Side Note–
All pictures have been used from THQ’s website, which at the moment that I post this, just has a big image stating “Strap it On” with people falling through the air and wielding guns for Saints Row 3. This is an example of why we need more STALKER. Thank you.

“Don’t get out of here, Stalker.” A plea from a S.T.A.L.K.E.R fan

Shit.

I just heard that GSC Game World may possibly be closing. This is a huge disappointment because the S.T.A.L.K.E.R series was incredible on almost every level.

Anyone who has played  the first game of the series should know about the “Get out of here, Stalker.” glitch that occurs in the Duty base.  Gah. I’ve got so many fond memories with this game series. I also heard they announced another sequel that they were going to completely redo and overhaul everything in the game. But the future is uncertain for the sequel now that they are closing. I just hope some shitty studio doesn’t get a hold of the rights and completely destroy the game I know and love.

I am sad.

Finally back in action.

Well.

I have finally come out of hibernation.

So here are a few announcements on upcoming reviews and more.

The Saboteur

Red Faction

Freedom Fighters

And finally…Battlefield 3.

 

Unfortunately I still have not been able to recover my copy of Fraps. So I guess for the time being I’ll have to make do with the piece of shit demo version of Fraps.

Yep. My review for Red Faction should actually be up tonight. Also, Cori and myself may actually be putting up a video of us playing Minecraft sometime very soon. Yahooooo.

Cheers.

Update on NaNoWriMo, and a cool picture.

Well. I’ve been writing furiously for the past few days since the start of November. I’m at 6,300 words and counting. I’m trying to get a good head start on my word count so I can post some more stuff here for your enjoyment.

I recently did a clean install of Windows 7 on my computer. After running Windows XP for the past six or seven years I can honestly say that Windows 7 has blown my mind and melted my face off.

My colleague has a copy of Battlefield 3. So if his ass gets any free time he may do some interesting BF3 videos. Or not, I don’t really know. When I upgrade my computer and get my own copy of BF3 I could surely upload videos of us rocking the virtual world.

Anyways, with my focus on NaNoWriMo this month, there will most likely be less content for you wonderful people.

However I did get around to installing Amnesia:The Dark Descent, so I will most likely be uploading a video or two this weekend or early next week. I also have Team Fortress 2 installed, so I may be posting a video or two of that as well; as Cori and myself both have the game installed it will probably be a video of us both rocking some faces.

Anyways, the title of this post promises a cool picture. So here it is.

 

ZANGIEF OF STREET FIGHTER

BEHOLD


You can save this picture and set it as your desktop background if you like. Or, you could save and print the picture and cut out the eye holes; then wear the picture like a mask. If you do this, please upload a video of you doing it and then post a link to said video here.

 

Side note:Some more Minecraft videos should be up eventually as well. “Eventually” meaning after my NaNoWriMo work is complete, and after I do the Amnesia stuff. Mainly because Minecraft is so goddamn time consuming and addicting.

Cheers.

NaNoWriMo

Holy. Mother. Of. Christ.

 

NaNoWriMo is quickly approaching. And I must prepare myself. 30 days of literary abandon. 50,000 words.

 

I will try to post some M&D stuff as often as I can, but NaNoWriMo is very important, as I have tried the past two years to reach my goal and I have failed. So this year I am grabbing…uh…MY WRITING SKILL by it’s fat hairy testicles and I am going to buckle my ass down to the floor and write some damn fiction.

 

Yes. Once I actually have some content typed up, I may post here periodically throughout November to update you guys and let you know how the writing is coming.

As for the rest of October, I will be putting up the reviews that I previously mentioned as well as another Minecraft video or two. Yep.

Cheerio.

Review of Operation Flashpoint:Dragon Rising

Well.

Playing this game in multiplayer with a couple friends over Skype or Ventrilo is actually a genuinely fun, deep, and engaging experience that requires patience, strategy, and some pretty good skill with the FPS genre.

However, playing this game by yourself will definitely cause a blood vessel in your brain to burst.

When I played the game in multiplayer mode with two other friends, it was an absolute blast. Sure there were some tedious and slightly annoying moments; but overall the sessions were pretty enjoyable. If you and your friends can work together and keep your heads on straight, then this game is definitely for you.The multiplayer is fantastic as it offers a lot of replay value and kept me and my friends coming back for more.

I mentioned earlier that there were some annoying parts. Well, one of them was that even though we were playing on the “normal” difficulty, and we would receive checkpoint saves during missions; whenever all of us were killed off the game would completely restart the mission from the beginning. This is a gigantic pain in the ass because the levels are massive, and there are tons of objectives that you typically have to walk/run to and they are usually a damn good distance apart from each other.

I’ll give an example using the shittiest drawing ever:

Okay. So we complete objective A. And then we hike our asses all the way over to B, complete it, and then hike all the way over to C. Alright. Great. So now we backtrack past B and head to D. But the shit hits the fan shortly before D and we get killed. Shortly after completing objective C the game informs us that we reached a checkpoint. But when we die before reaching D, the game does not load the checkpoint. It instead decides to take a giant shit on us and completely restart the mission from the beginning.

Yep.

The game looks pretty nice, I don’t really have any complaints about the graphics engine.Although on some levels a really thick, orange fog sets in like it’s the setting of a Romero zombie film.

If you have the patience for a couple minor bugs, and the rather high learning curve and difficulty level that this game brings; then you’ll love jumping into a game with a few friends. If you’re impatient and prefer something similar to Modern Warfare 2 or Halo, then you’re probably better off staying away from Operation Flashpoint.

Anyways, on to the singleplayer.

The AI completely takes away from the experience.

The bullshit robot responses and orders that everyone gives also takes away from the experience. “ECHO, NINER, ONE ZERO F ALPHA, MOVE TO GRID, DELTA, Z SIX FOXTROT”

And that’s how your character says almost everything. The only time any of them sounds even remotely normal is when they are being shot at and they yell and shout.

Returning to what I said earlier, in most of the missions there is a lot of ground to cover and a serious lack of vehicles. In most of my game sessions whether it was online or offline I ended up having to trek for what felt like miles and miles across the maps to finally reach my intended destination. There were times when it didn’t feel like I was playing an “intense and highly tactical FPS” but a simulation of the Native American Trail of Tears.

Most of the time I spent walking and running to the next objective, only to be instantly one-shot killed from several hundred meters away by a nearly invisible enemy. At this point the game would reload to the beginning of the mission and not the checkpoint, and I would fill my diaper with an aggravated shit.

Now that I think about it, I think this slightly less shitty drawing is more accurate:

The game also has a ton of menus, and a good number of them seem to just be there for looks. The menu I click through at the beginning of the video shows the loadout of your character, but you can’t really do anything with any of it. You can just hover your mouse over the icons and get a brief description of what a gun does, or what a first aid kit is used for. Yeah.

Anyways, the multiplayer is great. But if you’re looking for a rich and rewarding singleplayer experience you’re looking in the wrong place. Because Dragon Rising’s singleplayer is just plagued with shitty bumbling AI, and kind of a lame story that’s more of a backdrop for the action than something that should be taken seriously or even really paid attention to.

Come for the multiplayer. Don’t even try singleplayer unless you just want a laugh.

*Image courtesy of Google, video courtesy of me

Review of Mirror’s Edge

Man, this game kicks all kinds of ass.

First-person-action-parkour game of the century, for sure.

Alright. You play as Faith. And Faith is pretty cool, and sorta sexy. She also runs pretty damn fast and can jump about a quarter mile without much trouble. She can also take a shotgun blast to the chest at close range and just kinda shrug it off. I’ll admit I do not really like the regenerating health craze that has swept over most modern video games. I remember the first game I ever played that had regenerating health was The Getaway for Playstation 2. Holy shit THAT game was great.

But in The Getaway you had to go over to a wall and rest for a moment. You leaned against the wall and breathed heavier than a woman giving birth and then you went on your merry way. After about 20-45 seconds. Your suit still had big ass blood stains all over it, and you still walked slower. The Getaway was the only game to ever implement the regenerating health thing correctly. In a lot of modern games you may be hit directly with a mortar shell and you can just sorta duck over behind a piece of rubble, or behind a wall, or just crouch behind a very convenient crate; and just sit still for a few seconds. Suddenly you are completely healed and you can just hop over that piece of rubble/crate and continue to raise hell.

Anyways. Besides the bullshit health-regen thing this game is still superb. In almost every way. The story is pretty solid, and the characters are pretty memorable.The sound is FANTASTIC. And the action sequences are great because Faith knows goddamn Kung Fu and fully automatic machine guns are no match for goddamn Kung Fu.

I only have two problems with this otherwise excellent game.

1) Why design a vast, incredible looking cityscape if you’re going to spend 50% of the game crawling through vents and air ducts? What the FUCK, man.

2) The parkour element is great. I fucking love it. But there are some times when the first person view really hinders your ability to properly judge your distances and timing. It may seem like I could totally reach that ledge right there, but then I run and jump….ahhh…fuck I fell twenty stories. Dead.

That’s it. That’s all I have to say. This game is brilliant in every other aspect. The cool little animated cut scenes are a nice touch too. Seeing as how a lot of games go for the huge cinematic/shit-it-looks-like-I’m-there angle. The animated scenes are really a fresh take on things. And it makes sense being as how the game is gorgeous and doesn’t need to impress me anyways. It already has.

I recommend this to anyone that likes first person shooters or action games. Because if you’re used to first person shooters then it shouldn’t be hard to adjust to the first person parkour stuff. Unless you suck.

 

*images courtesy of Google, videos courtesy of me*