Right.

So.

I got back into Minecraft. Which is nice. The newest updates have really improved the overall feel of the game.

So I am going to be putting up some Minecraft footage. Probably me messing around in Creative mode, or possibly a video tutorial showing beginners how to survive their first night in Minecraft. Or both.

But yeah, definitely some Minecraft coming at you very soon; as well as reviews of Amnesia:The Dark Descent and Dead Space.

 

Oh yes, and I downloaded the demos for both Orcs Must Die! and Warhammer 40,000:Space Marine. So after I play them a bit more I’ll upload a few short clips and let you know how I feel about them.

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Mike tries out “QWOP”

Someone reminded me of this game.

 

 

So I made a video. Enjoy.

If you enjoyed it, then don’t forget to rate, comment, subscribe, like. All that jazz.

Review of Operation Flashpoint:Dragon Rising

Well.

Playing this game in multiplayer with a couple friends over Skype or Ventrilo is actually a genuinely fun, deep, and engaging experience that requires patience, strategy, and some pretty good skill with the FPS genre.

However, playing this game by yourself will definitely cause a blood vessel in your brain to burst.

When I played the game in multiplayer mode with two other friends, it was an absolute blast. Sure there were some tedious and slightly annoying moments; but overall the sessions were pretty enjoyable. If you and your friends can work together and keep your heads on straight, then this game is definitely for you.The multiplayer is fantastic as it offers a lot of replay value and kept me and my friends coming back for more.

I mentioned earlier that there were some annoying parts. Well, one of them was that even though we were playing on the “normal” difficulty, and we would receive checkpoint saves during missions; whenever all of us were killed off the game would completely restart the mission from the beginning. This is a gigantic pain in the ass because the levels are massive, and there are tons of objectives that you typically have to walk/run to and they are usually a damn good distance apart from each other.

I’ll give an example using the shittiest drawing ever:

Okay. So we complete objective A. And then we hike our asses all the way over to B, complete it, and then hike all the way over to C. Alright. Great. So now we backtrack past B and head to D. But the shit hits the fan shortly before D and we get killed. Shortly after completing objective C the game informs us that we reached a checkpoint. But when we die before reaching D, the game does not load the checkpoint. It instead decides to take a giant shit on us and completely restart the mission from the beginning.

Yep.

The game looks pretty nice, I don’t really have any complaints about the graphics engine.Although on some levels a really thick, orange fog sets in like it’s the setting of a Romero zombie film.

If you have the patience for a couple minor bugs, and the rather high learning curve and difficulty level that this game brings; then you’ll love jumping into a game with a few friends. If you’re impatient and prefer something similar to Modern Warfare 2 or Halo, then you’re probably better off staying away from Operation Flashpoint.

Anyways, on to the singleplayer.

The AI completely takes away from the experience.

The bullshit robot responses and orders that everyone gives also takes away from the experience. “ECHO, NINER, ONE ZERO F ALPHA, MOVE TO GRID, DELTA, Z SIX FOXTROT”

And that’s how your character says almost everything. The only time any of them sounds even remotely normal is when they are being shot at and they yell and shout.

Returning to what I said earlier, in most of the missions there is a lot of ground to cover and a serious lack of vehicles. In most of my game sessions whether it was online or offline I ended up having to trek for what felt like miles and miles across the maps to finally reach my intended destination. There were times when it didn’t feel like I was playing an “intense and highly tactical FPS” but a simulation of the Native American Trail of Tears.

Most of the time I spent walking and running to the next objective, only to be instantly one-shot killed from several hundred meters away by a nearly invisible enemy. At this point the game would reload to the beginning of the mission and not the checkpoint, and I would fill my diaper with an aggravated shit.

Now that I think about it, I think this slightly less shitty drawing is more accurate:

The game also has a ton of menus, and a good number of them seem to just be there for looks. The menu I click through at the beginning of the video shows the loadout of your character, but you can’t really do anything with any of it. You can just hover your mouse over the icons and get a brief description of what a gun does, or what a first aid kit is used for. Yeah.

Anyways, the multiplayer is great. But if you’re looking for a rich and rewarding singleplayer experience you’re looking in the wrong place. Because Dragon Rising’s singleplayer is just plagued with shitty bumbling AI, and kind of a lame story that’s more of a backdrop for the action than something that should be taken seriously or even really paid attention to.

Come for the multiplayer. Don’t even try singleplayer unless you just want a laugh.

*Image courtesy of Google, video courtesy of me

Mafia II review

Fuggetaboutit.

It’s a pretty well done game. The beginning kicks off with a neat little segment where you fight in Sicily during the second World War. Which is a really nice change of pace because I figured I would be starting off similar to the first Mafia game. But now that I think about it the beginning of the first game wasn’t really the norm either. Because you start off as a taxi driver and you have to drive two wounded mob members away from a rival mob car that follows your slow ass taxi. And in Mafia II you begin with this Brothers in Arms sort of style prologue. I really thought this was a nice touch, and a nice change of pace from the usual mobster games/plot lines.

The game sounds, plays, and feels just like 1945 in New York City. Not that I would know what the hell New York City in 1945 sounded or felt like, but I think this game nailed it. I think.

The controls handle pretty well, and the characters and dialogue are pretty spot on to what I’d expect from a mafia style game. The Irish hoodlums are actually my favorite. The missions are all pretty interesting, and some of them are actually pretty damn cool. The only problem is that Mafia II pulls a GTA IV and some of the missions get slightly repetitive. Like the “Clear a whole warehouse filled with armed bad guys” for the fourth or fifth time. Luckily in Mafia II you typically have at least two other people helping you clear out said warehouse, so it isn’t like you’re a goddamn one man army like in GTA IV.

Even though to be honest not many games pull off this technique very well. Because most of the time it is the player fighting off a damn army by themselves. Some games will take a slightly more realistic route and throw you a few ally NPCs to help, but usually they are dumb as hell. And if they aren’t dumb as hell then the number of allies nearly matches the number of enemies and what should be a small gun fight turns into a giant fire fight. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll never be happy.

It really kind of reminds me of the scene in The Untouchables where Elliot Ness and Sean Connery storm the bridge and kill two dozen armed mobsters. Of course it’s portrayed better in the film because the other side of the bridge is packed with a battalion of Canadian police officers on horseback. With rifles. And mustaches.

Anyways. Mafia II is a really well done game and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Save for these few grievances.

1) There are too many damn male characters. Holy hell. And almost every one of them is the same. Black haired Italian men under the age of thirty with a thick ass accent and a three piece suit. They may as well have named the game “Italian Sausage Fest 2”

2) Going on a rampage in GTA IV is a helluva lot of fun. In Mafia II…ehhh. Not quite so much. Probably because in GTA IV there’s all of the ridiculous weaponry and it’s a game where goofery and fuckery are allowed. As where Mafia II has a more serious undertone.

3) Most of the cars handle like they have another slightly smaller car strapped upside down on the roof of them. And when you try to drive during the winter season….oh holy shit you better be driving at about 4oMPH everywhere you go or you’ll just slide off of the road and slam into something/somebody. I suppose it is a pretty realistic angle on how cars control, but if I wanted it to be like real life I’d just put on my three piece suit, slick my hair back with gel, and go hit someone in the head with a bat. And as they’re sprawled out and dying on the ground, the last thing they’ll hear before passing on into the next life is me quietly saying “Howzzat fo’ a slice ‘a pizza?”

4)The game is pretty damn linear. It’s an open world game, but there really isn’t much to do between missions. So you typically end up just going to start the next mission. So apart from following the point A to point B storyline, there isn’t a whole lot of replay value in this game for me because once you’ve finished the main storyline there isn’t much to bring you back. Especially since after you finish a mission the game immediately instructs you to go home and go to bed. Apparently Italian mobsters in the 40’s didn’t have much of a nightlife.

My favorite experiences in the game come from the fact that the police in Mafia II actually chase you when you pull some crazy bullshit. For example in GTA IV if you flew past a cop going double the speed limit in a sports car and slammed into another vehicle head on, the cop wouldn’t do shit. He wouldn’t even get out of his car and ask if anyone was hurt. But in Mafia II the police will actually chase you if you’re speeding, and for minor offenses they will try to pull you over and give you ticket. At which point your character will hop out of the car and the cop will write and give you the ticket. And you’ll have to pay it.

Just like real life.

Of course just like in real life you can choose to pull over and politely talk to the policeman, or you can pull over, hop out and then shoot him in the chest with a shotgun. Tickets be damned!

I guess I’d recommend this to anyone who played the first Mafia game, and anyone who loves mobster movies or the GTA series. Or any combination of the above. But especially if you liked all of the above. Cheers.

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Magicka PC review

Well. Before buying and playing through Magicka I played the demo over and over. The short demo just wasn’t quite enough for me. The hilarious dialogue (if you can call it that) and characters had me rolling at points. All of the characters spoke in this really shitty broken English that is mostly jumbled words that only vaguely sound like what the subtitles show they are saying. For example a word such as “remember” becomes “rembrandt” in the world of Magicka. And sometimes they don’t really say anything and they just yell.

He yells “Fire!” for those of you who are wondering.

There are dozens of pop-culture and film references in the game. I absolutely love the humor in this game. There is a part where an ally is killed by a bunch of bow and arrow wielding goblins, and he falls to his knees with his arms in the air; similar to the scene in Platoon. The game perfectly blends action and humor.

The combination of spells you can cast are endless. You use several elements to combine and cast spells, such as fire, arcane, ice and water. You can simply spray an enemy with water and knock them on their ass, or you can full-on-double-rainbow blast them with a crazed combination of spells that forms a giant beam of energy causing them to explode instantly. That’s another thing about this game…the blood and gore in it is pretty absurd and it works to the game’s benefit. Simply slashing an enemy spills out liters of blood and they usually screech or yell in pain. Shooting an enemy with a big ass boulder spell causes them to explode all over the place, and then when you proceed to walk through their guts you will kick their head/arms/legs around. Kind of like Dead Space. Only in Dead Space that shit was so bugged and stupid it completely took away from the experience.

There is actually support for 4 player co-op. Which I recommend playing the game with at least one other person. Because while playing it alone there were times where I would become overwhelmed and it would take me several attempts to pass a section. Because whether you are alone or with three other people, the enemies still come pouring down on you. This is great at points because the game can be pretty challenging, and the spells you have at your disposal allow you to deal with multiple threats at once.

Towards the end of the game, however I found that playing by myself was nearly impossible. Because the enemies still come at you in great numbers, and they become progressively more difficult to fight; even with your endgame spells.

Overall the game was a fantastic experience. The dialogue and characters kept me laughing, the spells and differing enemies kept me engaged and interested, and the story development and change of setting kept me wondering where the hell I would go next.

I highly recommend Magicka to anyone. Yeah. Anyone. Even old people that probably wouldn’t understand the type of humor found in this game, nor would they have the reflexes to fight off a dozen wolverine-werewolf-men with swords.

*images courtesy of Google, videos courtesy of me*