Finally back in action.

Well.

I have finally come out of hibernation.

So here are a few announcements on upcoming reviews and more.

The Saboteur

Red Faction

Freedom Fighters

And finally…Battlefield 3.

 

Unfortunately I still have not been able to recover my copy of Fraps. So I guess for the time being I’ll have to make do with the piece of shit demo version of Fraps.

Yep. My review for Red Faction should actually be up tonight. Also, Cori and myself may actually be putting up a video of us playing Minecraft sometime very soon. Yahooooo.

Cheers.

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Review of Operation Flashpoint:Dragon Rising

Well.

Playing this game in multiplayer with a couple friends over Skype or Ventrilo is actually a genuinely fun, deep, and engaging experience that requires patience, strategy, and some pretty good skill with the FPS genre.

However, playing this game by yourself will definitely cause a blood vessel in your brain to burst.

When I played the game in multiplayer mode with two other friends, it was an absolute blast. Sure there were some tedious and slightly annoying moments; but overall the sessions were pretty enjoyable. If you and your friends can work together and keep your heads on straight, then this game is definitely for you.The multiplayer is fantastic as it offers a lot of replay value and kept me and my friends coming back for more.

I mentioned earlier that there were some annoying parts. Well, one of them was that even though we were playing on the “normal” difficulty, and we would receive checkpoint saves during missions; whenever all of us were killed off the game would completely restart the mission from the beginning. This is a gigantic pain in the ass because the levels are massive, and there are tons of objectives that you typically have to walk/run to and they are usually a damn good distance apart from each other.

I’ll give an example using the shittiest drawing ever:

Okay. So we complete objective A. And then we hike our asses all the way over to B, complete it, and then hike all the way over to C. Alright. Great. So now we backtrack past B and head to D. But the shit hits the fan shortly before D and we get killed. Shortly after completing objective C the game informs us that we reached a checkpoint. But when we die before reaching D, the game does not load the checkpoint. It instead decides to take a giant shit on us and completely restart the mission from the beginning.

Yep.

The game looks pretty nice, I don’t really have any complaints about the graphics engine.Although on some levels a really thick, orange fog sets in like it’s the setting of a Romero zombie film.

If you have the patience for a couple minor bugs, and the rather high learning curve and difficulty level that this game brings; then you’ll love jumping into a game with a few friends. If you’re impatient and prefer something similar to Modern Warfare 2 or Halo, then you’re probably better off staying away from Operation Flashpoint.

Anyways, on to the singleplayer.

The AI completely takes away from the experience.

The bullshit robot responses and orders that everyone gives also takes away from the experience. “ECHO, NINER, ONE ZERO F ALPHA, MOVE TO GRID, DELTA, Z SIX FOXTROT”

And that’s how your character says almost everything. The only time any of them sounds even remotely normal is when they are being shot at and they yell and shout.

Returning to what I said earlier, in most of the missions there is a lot of ground to cover and a serious lack of vehicles. In most of my game sessions whether it was online or offline I ended up having to trek for what felt like miles and miles across the maps to finally reach my intended destination. There were times when it didn’t feel like I was playing an “intense and highly tactical FPS” but a simulation of the Native American Trail of Tears.

Most of the time I spent walking and running to the next objective, only to be instantly one-shot killed from several hundred meters away by a nearly invisible enemy. At this point the game would reload to the beginning of the mission and not the checkpoint, and I would fill my diaper with an aggravated shit.

Now that I think about it, I think this slightly less shitty drawing is more accurate:

The game also has a ton of menus, and a good number of them seem to just be there for looks. The menu I click through at the beginning of the video shows the loadout of your character, but you can’t really do anything with any of it. You can just hover your mouse over the icons and get a brief description of what a gun does, or what a first aid kit is used for. Yeah.

Anyways, the multiplayer is great. But if you’re looking for a rich and rewarding singleplayer experience you’re looking in the wrong place. Because Dragon Rising’s singleplayer is just plagued with shitty bumbling AI, and kind of a lame story that’s more of a backdrop for the action than something that should be taken seriously or even really paid attention to.

Come for the multiplayer. Don’t even try singleplayer unless you just want a laugh.

*Image courtesy of Google, video courtesy of me

Magicka PC review

Well. Before buying and playing through Magicka I played the demo over and over. The short demo just wasn’t quite enough for me. The hilarious dialogue (if you can call it that) and characters had me rolling at points. All of the characters spoke in this really shitty broken English that is mostly jumbled words that only vaguely sound like what the subtitles show they are saying. For example a word such as “remember” becomes “rembrandt” in the world of Magicka. And sometimes they don’t really say anything and they just yell.

He yells “Fire!” for those of you who are wondering.

There are dozens of pop-culture and film references in the game. I absolutely love the humor in this game. There is a part where an ally is killed by a bunch of bow and arrow wielding goblins, and he falls to his knees with his arms in the air; similar to the scene in Platoon. The game perfectly blends action and humor.

The combination of spells you can cast are endless. You use several elements to combine and cast spells, such as fire, arcane, ice and water. You can simply spray an enemy with water and knock them on their ass, or you can full-on-double-rainbow blast them with a crazed combination of spells that forms a giant beam of energy causing them to explode instantly. That’s another thing about this game…the blood and gore in it is pretty absurd and it works to the game’s benefit. Simply slashing an enemy spills out liters of blood and they usually screech or yell in pain. Shooting an enemy with a big ass boulder spell causes them to explode all over the place, and then when you proceed to walk through their guts you will kick their head/arms/legs around. Kind of like Dead Space. Only in Dead Space that shit was so bugged and stupid it completely took away from the experience.

There is actually support for 4 player co-op. Which I recommend playing the game with at least one other person. Because while playing it alone there were times where I would become overwhelmed and it would take me several attempts to pass a section. Because whether you are alone or with three other people, the enemies still come pouring down on you. This is great at points because the game can be pretty challenging, and the spells you have at your disposal allow you to deal with multiple threats at once.

Towards the end of the game, however I found that playing by myself was nearly impossible. Because the enemies still come at you in great numbers, and they become progressively more difficult to fight; even with your endgame spells.

Overall the game was a fantastic experience. The dialogue and characters kept me laughing, the spells and differing enemies kept me engaged and interested, and the story development and change of setting kept me wondering where the hell I would go next.

I highly recommend Magicka to anyone. Yeah. Anyone. Even old people that probably wouldn’t understand the type of humor found in this game, nor would they have the reflexes to fight off a dozen wolverine-werewolf-men with swords.

*images courtesy of Google, videos courtesy of me*

This weekend on M and fuckin’ D (Update)

The weekend I thought was going to be completely free ended up being packed with bullshit. So I will be uploading the videos and posting the reviews tomorrow afternoon because I suck.

Since I’ve delivered on everything else pretty well recently, you can take that shit to THE BANK.

 

Reviews/videos of Mafia 2, Mirror’s Edge, Magicka, and Operation Flashpoint – Dragon Rising will be thrown at your faces. And part 2 of the Phat Boyz – Paint the Town Phat.

                                 Italian Sausage Fest 2
                                               This game is actually really great

                                 “Mah name’s uh Faith and I’m uh ninja”

                                I am going to destroy this fucking game.

One of them should be up tonight. The other three will be up either Saturday or Sunday.

*Images courtesy of Google ‘n stuff*